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My Cats > Your Kids

by Cory Sharp

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My cats are greater than your kids for several reasons starting with names. You named your little shit stains something uber fucking hip like 'Atticus', 'Finn', or 'Tesla' (or some other literary figure from high school required reading. FUCK YOU!") while i named my little feline darlings after pokemon that i thought they resembled after a night of heavy drinking. Secondly my cats will never be influenced by my terrible taste in music continuing the cycle of popular Top 100 hell that contaminates the radiowaves. And lastly, my Meowth and Mewtwo will never grow up to despise me like your evil spawn who will despise you for putting a fake mustache on them for all their baby photos or that you have more blurry pictures of cans of PBR than of your family.

lyrics

Just cause you’re a parent
Apparently you think you’re better than me
You use your children as excuses
To do whatever you want

And I think its bullshit
The way you rub it in all of our faces
How would you like it
If I breast fed my cats in public places.

It’s not my fault you can’t control them
So why do you punish me when you bring them
If you can’t find a sitter
Stay home with your children

And don’t even think about it
I don’t bring my cats to rated r movies
And my cats don’t even giggle
Every time they see Anne Hathaway’s boobies

And you’re getting upset
Because I compared my cats to your kids
But the difference is
I’m not raising little pieces of shit.

credits

released April 14, 2012

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Cory Sharp Houston, Texas

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